Dengler Domain: Mascots Part II

Sean Dengler.

In a state full of Hawkeyes, Cyclones, and a few Panthers and Bulldogs, some of the other schools get lost in the fray. These smaller colleges and universities also deserve their time in the limelight. This is not about the academics at the school, it is about the mascots. More importantly, it is about the unique mascot names.

First off, the Upper Iowa Peacocks is one of the best mascot names. Hard nose, beefy defensive tackles representing a beautiful, delicate bird. The shade of blue used to represent the Upper Iowa Peacocks is also the best color for this mascot. Combine the color with the bird and these Peacocks strike fear into any opponent. If this name does not bring fear, what mascot would? Nothing.

Another fantastic team mascot is the Defenders of Dordt University. What do we do? Defend! Since there are many of us, we are the Defenders! This is an effortless way to make a name. Does the mascot look like a knight? Yes. Are they called the Knights? No. They are Defenders. Get with the program while they defend against whoever comes their way. I have never watched a Dordt University athletic event, but I assume they only defend and never score. If they meant to score, they should be called the Scorers.

The Yellowjackets of Graceland University is another phenomenal name. Nothing like an angry bee ready to sting their opponents. Looking like a certain cereal mascot who hit the gym, this mascot is ready to come after any opponent. The eyes on this yellowjacket also look like a bee wearing shades to block out the haters. The arms strike a power pose while it also lacks the rest of its legs. Besides that, it perfectly resembles a standard yellowjacket.

Lastly, there is the Simpson College Storm. What kind of Storm? Hopefully, a strong storm. Is it a hailstorm, thunderstorm, or windstorm? Who knows but probably a terrifying one.

Maybe the Storm players make storm noises at their opponents to strike fear into opponents. The lightning bolt in the middle of the team logo helps, but it is rare to be struck by one.

All these mascot names have a different feel. While the state has plenty of Hawks, Clones, Cats, and Dogs running around, a state full of random Peacocks, Defenders, Yellowjackets, and Stormians — that is a shot in the dark as to what they refer to themselves as — but all that is to say these unique names make for great college athletics in the state. For these schools who picked a fun name, cheers.

Sean Dengler is a writer, comedian, farmer, and host of the Pandaring Talk podcast who grew up on a farm between Traer and Dysart. You can reach him at sean.h.dengler@gmail.com.